


Elementary Drabble Collection

by Quipxotic



Category: Doctor Who, Elementary (TV), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Creative Uses for Table Saws, Disco-Themed Interior Design, Drabble, Drabble Collection, Fluff, Games, Gen, Inflatable Dinosaur Suits, Okay so mostly fluff, Pirates, Prompt Fic, Retirement
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2018-09-18 16:53:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9394457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quipxotic/pseuds/Quipxotic
Summary: Stories about Joan, Sherlock, and company, told 100 words at a time.





	1. The Brownstone Sighed

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NairobiWonders](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NairobiWonders/gifts).



> This is probably going to end up as a grab-bag of every weird-ass idea I have about Elementary for which I don't have enough content to write a full-blown story.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by NairobiWonders' prompt: "The brownstone sighed."

Buildings don’t sigh, but TARDISes do. So the Brownstone sighed.

She watched aghast as Watson and Holmes lived their lives in linear order. This wasn’t the way Time Lords were supposed to behave at all! Why would anyone choose rainy Wednesdays, cold Mondays, or 2 AM if they could explore all of time and space instead?

Watson called it the Beauty of Boredom: the down times gave scope and space to appreciate and prepare for the exciting ones. Holmes said it gave him empathy.

The Brownstone wished she understood. But, at last, she settled for being glad they were happy.


	2. Lord Vader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by NairobiWonders' prompt: “Your father would totally be Lord Vader.”

“Your father would totally be Lord Vader.”

Sherlock looks at Joan in confusion. It’s late at night and the case they’re working has stalled. The comment doesn’t seem to relate to anything relevant. 

Sensing his confusion, she clarifies. “You know - _Star Wars_?”

“I’m aware of the cultural reference.”

“Well, wouldn’t he? Deep voice. A tendency toward pointless cruelty and manipulation. Definitely part of the Dark Side.”

He makes a face as he considers this. “Would that make me Luke Skywalker?”

Watson laughs. “I think you’re more a Leia Organa, actually.”

This doesn’t displease him. “So who would you be, Watson?”


	3. HMS Brownstone

The shackles weren’t challenging - Sherlock came up with a plan for picking the locks within five minutes. Getting past the guards was a more difficult problem. In the end, it was Watson who convinced all the others to join them in their planned escape.

A quick signal, a few moments of intense fighting, and they were all free again.

“Now we have the ship, what’re we going to do with it?” Watson asked, looking around the captured brigantine. 

“I think that’s up to you, Captain,” Sherlock replied. “Our associates wouldn’t follow me.”

Joan blinked. “Does this mean we’re pirates now?”


	4. Marcus! No!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by NairobiWonders' prompt: "Marcus! No!"

“Marcus! No!”

Marcus Bell froze - the milk jug poised, ready to pour. After another long night working a case, he’d fallen asleep on the brownstone’s couch. Now all he wanted was a cup of coffee. “What?” he asked, sleepily. 

Joan crossed the kitchen and took it from him. “Sherlock’s using that for an experiment. You don’t want to drink it.”

Marcus was horrified. “And it’s in your frig!? Shouldn’t it be marked?”

“It was.” Joan pointed at the small skull and crossbones stamped on the bottom.

Marcus poured his coffee into the sink. “On second thought, I’ll get something out.”


	5. Games

“Whose idea was this?”

“I blame Watson.”

“Stop complaining, Sherlock,” Joan laughed. “After all that hot yoga you’ve been doing this should be a breeze.”

“I’m too old for this,” Marcus grumbled. 

“You’re the youngest one here!” Joan chided him. “You’re going to lose to two old people, Marcus! Suck it up!”

“We…are not old, Watson,” Sherlock stretched to reach, wobbling slightly. “We are in the prime of our lives. The height of our faculties.” 

“Playing a game aimed at children 6 and up,” Marcus added.

“Just hurry?”

Marcus spun the Twister spinner and groaned. “Left foot - green. Shit.”


	6. Fan Mail!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Sanguinity’s prompt: Fan mail!

On Saturday morning the doorbell rang. 

“I’ll get it!” Joan yelled as she ran down the steps. When she opened the door, Marcus was waiting outside with a large mail sack.

“You two were on a podcast?” he inquired dryly.

“In exchange for information from Everyone. Why?”

He dragged the sack into the foyer. “Fan mail has been arriving for you at the station since Tuesday. The Captain asked me to drop it off.”

“All of this is for us?” she asked in amazement.

“This is just for Sherlock. I’ve got two more sacks in the car addressed to you.”


	7. Tick. Tick. Tick.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Amindamazed’s prompt: Watson has to defuse a bomb

Joan surveyed the device cautiously.

“Show me again,” Sherlock’s voice said from her nearby phone. She picked it up and showed him the bomb, wondering idly if Roberto Garcia ever dreamed of this kind of use for Apple’s FaceTime.

“What’s their ETA?” she asked.

“The bomb squad is on their way but the first two floors are booby-trapped. It’s up to us.”

“You should go, Joan, it’s fine,” Captain Gregson assured her earnestly.

“I’m not leaving you.” Joan picked up the tools she’d scrounged from a nearby cabinet. “So sit still, we’ll have that bomb off you in no time.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No beloved TV NYPD captains (or consulting detectives) were harmed in the making of this drabble.


	8. Roadside Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on Amindamazed’s prompt: “ran out of gas (figuratively or literally)”
> 
> This takes place not long after [chapters 3](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7094443/chapters/20480425) and [4 of](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7094443/chapters/20658763) "Wanderers in the Fourth Dimension...of the Brownstone."

“How did we run out of gas?” 

“Problem with the gauge?” Marcus suggested. Outside the car, Sherlock paced angrily. “Maybe I should’ve called the rental company?”

Joan shrugged. “He insisted.”

Marcus glanced at her. “You feeling better?”

“A bit.” She snuggled further under a pile of their coats in the backseat. “Last night was the best sleep I’ve had in ages.”

“See, I don’t get that.” Marcus shook his head. “Your bed at home has got to be more comfortable than that twin we all shared.”

“Maybe it was the company?” she replied cheekily, laughing quietly at his surprised expression. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I'm currently experiencing the fan fiction version of the spinning pinwheel of death on the other thing I'm working on, have a fluff drabble.


	9. Death by Disco

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by NairobiWonders' prompt: “Surrounded by gold”

“Wow.” 

“The homeowner had a thing for the 1970s,” Marcus replied with a wink.

Pulling on her gloves, Joan looked around. “Or was trying to recreate an Austin Powers movie.”

The only word to describe the room was “gold.” Gold wallpaper in a swirling pattern reminiscent of a lava lamp. Gold pleather sofas and chairs. Gold shag rug.

Sherlock put the needle down on the nearby record player. The opening guitar and bassline for “Boogie Oogie Oogie” by A Taste of Honey began playing.

Joan quirked an eyebrow. “Death by disco?”

“Assuming someone didn’t kill him over bad interior design-“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Confession time: I really like “Boogie Oogie Oogie” and listened to it a few times while writing this drabble.


	10. An Unlikely Accessory for Murder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by sanguinity’s prompt: “Inflatable dinosaur suit”

When she got home, Joan found Sherlock staring at an inflatable dinosaur suit that hung from the library ceiling.

“Why-“ 

“People wear costumes like this to film themselves doing everything from feats of skill to pratfalls,” he replied. “YouTube is filled with examples.”

“Yes, but why-“

“It makes sense really. They’re so wondrously horrible it’s hard to look away.”

“Okay but-“

“Which makes them a terribly unwise thing to wear if you’re planning to commit a murder.” He held up a crime scene photo. “And yet, someone did.”

“What?!”

He turned to grin at her, practically humming with excitement. “Exactly.” 


	11. Just a Typical Friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by amindamazed’s prompt: “table saw.”

Joan and Ms. Hudson were returning from lunch when they heard the table saw. 

“I feel bad for whoever lives near that,” Joan observed.

As they neared the brownstone, the noise got louder. “Evidently you’re living near it,” Ms. Hudson said, covering her ears as they climbed the front steps. 

When they opened the front door they discovered the source of the sound. Sherlock blinked at them as he paused sawing a store mannequin in half. Body parts from other mannequins lay scattered on the floor. 

“Why don’t you stay at mine this weekend,” Ms. Hudson yelled in Joan’s ear. 


	12. August 21, 2017

“Sherlock!” Joan yelled, checking her watch. “Hurry up!” When he emerged from the crime scene, she grabbed his hand and hurried down the street. 

“Back to the brownstone?” he asked. “We can observe the bees’ reactions-”

“There’s no time.” The sidewalk was packed with spectators, but she found a good spot. Pulling the eclipse glasses from her purse, Joan handed one to Sherlock before putting on her own.

“It won’t be as impressive here,” he observed, staring skyward. “We’re too far away from the path of totality.” 

“Maybe.” Grinning, Joan wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “But it’s still spectacular.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Inspired by this photo.](http://quipxotic.tumblr.com/post/164499139962/elementarystan-jonnyjlm-elementary-eclipse)


	13. The Hat and the Stone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by a prompt from beanarie: “jewel heist!”

Sherlock rushed to answer the doorbell before the noise woke Watson.

“Alfredo?”

“Sorry it’s so early.” After Sherlock ushered him into the library, he continued. “This morning I spotted two guys jumping an old man. They ran when they saw me, but so did the old dude. He dropped this.” Alfredo held out a battered fedora and a shopping bag. When he upended the bag, a large blue jewel dropped into Sherlock’s hand. “Tell me that isn’t what I think it is.”

“If you think it’s the Blue Carbuncle,” Sherlock began, studying the stone, “you’re right.”

Alfredo frowned. “Ah hell.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tip of the fedora to "The Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle." Has _Elementary_ done that story yet? I'm still all the way back in Season 4.


	14. Warmth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> October 3, 2017 Inktober Prompt: Warmth

Joan sunk into the bath with a sigh. She’d shared a hasty lunch with Marcus and a working dinner with Sherlock, but this was the first moment she’d had to unwind. 

As she leaned back into the water, there was a knock on the door.

“Go away!” she yelled, knowing it was Sherlock.

“I want to read something to you.” He paused. “For the case.”

“Oh. All right.”

As he began reading a journal article on circadian rhythms, Joan tried to pay attention. But, lulled by his voice and the warmth of the water, she found herself becoming contentedly drowsy.


	15. The End?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> October 31, 2017 Inktober Prompt: Final

Coffee was served in paper cups and there was cake in the shape of a bee hive. There were awards for long and faithful service to the City of New York and speeches where people said nice, polite things. Joan took Sherlock’s hand during that part so he wouldn’t interject with any blunt truths; after all that’s not what retirement parties were for. 

“Thank you, Captain,” he said afterwards, “your speech was by far the least painful.”

Marcus Bell grinned at Sherlock and Joan. “I’m saving the obnoxious stuff for when you both ‘unretire.’ I give you two weeks, tops.”


End file.
